With all my bloggy friends discussing their sleep trends and preferences, I figured I'd thrown in my two sheep.
We had fully planned on having Daniel in our room for the first month or so. We had the pack 'n play bassinet set up next to our bed, we put Daniel in it and we all went to sleep - well not actually. Any time Joe exhaled slightly loudly, Daniel would toss and turn and cry. I laid in bed stiff as a board and my blood pressure would rise each time Joe breathed or Daniel chirped. The second night of this, about 12AM, I picked up my baby, went to his room, placed him in his crib and he slept WONDERFULLY. Of course he asked for milk about two hours later, but that was expected. We used a monitor, so I still slept very lightly and would wake to any small coo or sigh, but Joe slept better and Daniel slept better.
I moved the bassinet downstairs so he could nap in the living room during the day. There were many days that first month I had him take naps on my bed while I soaked in the tub, and sometimes we'd take naps together. About two or three months into this, I realized he was not napping more than 20 - 30 minutes at a time which was not working well for either of us. One day I took him to his crib and he slept WONDERFULLY... not all the time, but it was an improvement from the other setups. It also took us some time to work out how to go down for naps, but that is another story.
It turns out that my son is a light sleeper and sleeps/falls asleep better in his own quiet room. I won't claim this was my preference, and I won't claim that he couldn't be trained otherwise, but it is what it is. As an infant, when I put him down, I would say a prayer for his safety before walking the 16 steps back to my bed, and throughout the night I would be praying for his safe sleep. In the several nights when I tried to share a bed with him, he had a terrible time going to sleep (wailing in frustration) and he woke in fits of anger whenever I rolled over or made any noise. I felt like I was punishing him by not letting him sleep in his bed.
He started sleeping through the night (10-12 hours) at five months. It actually began when we were at the beach, co-sleeping in a hotel room. I'd hear him start to wake, hand him the pacifier, and he would settle back down. He slept the whole night (that one time). We continued 3 - 4:30 AM night feedings at home for another couple months but slowly tapered those off. He's almost a year now and I will do an occasional 11 pm or 3 am feeding when he asks for it (usually if he is sick), but most nights he sleeps from 7:45 pm to 7:20 am. I start missing him pretty bad around 9 pm once I've had a breather. His weight gain has been fine (until that nursing strike and the devil cold). He's on the low side, but is also the most wiggly active baby I've seen. Whatever he eats, he burns off quickly.
Sure, I have occasionally wished Daniel were more of a cuddle bug, but I get my lovin' when he's awake. It's really cute when he tries to dodge kisses... just like an eight year old boy. It's even better when he gives kisses and "bonks" us on the forehead. I can tell he is totally confident in his parent's love and feels very emotionally connected to both of us. I personally think each child is a unique creation. So if the next one wants to cuddle, I am up for it :)
I'd say thus reinforcing the idea that you have to do what works best for your family, regardless of what the "theories", books, or anybody else says.
ReplyDeleteClearly, co-sleeping wouldn't work for y'all, because no one would sleep. I don't think anyone would insist you keep doing it just because it works well for others!
Well said, Amy. I have taken the personal approach of only turning to the books and friends and such when things are not working well... perhaps that isn't very proactive, but it saves me time for reading other things like people.com and cnn.com ;)
ReplyDeleteI am curious to see how this will go for us. I am really not comfortable having the baby in bed with us while we are both asleep but we do have the pack n play about 1.5 feet from my body so he'll be with us for the fist little bit at least. It also helps that the nursery is right across the hall closest to our room so when we do make the transition he won't have far to go!
ReplyDeleteWe had originally planned to have Caedmon sleep in his own room from day 1. Not that I didn't want to cuddle, but I just wanted my sleep. That however didn't happen until C was 2 months old. The only way he would sleep was tummy-down, right on top of me or Brad ... usually me. It was sweet for a week or so, but then it got a little cumbersome. I had to be ready to go to bed as soon as we finished his 11pm feeding -- pjs on, teeth brushed, etc. There was no downtime for me and Brad. Strangely enough, I learned to sleep this way, half way sitting up and all. Mornings were quite interesting though as I attempted to work my neck back into working order after propping it up on the headboard all night :).
ReplyDeleteThe night that he finally slept alone in his pack-n-play was very sweet (the night before we moved actually), but like you, Paige, I woke up to every movement or groan. But now at 4.5 months, he's sleeping from 10:30pm to 7:30am in his own crib and room and with about 3 visits or so a night to replace the paci (I'm trying to figure out a solution to this.)
But as everyone says, do what's best for you and the baby, and if it follows the books cool, if not, who cares :)
Ironically, Jude slept in his bed for 6 straight hours last night. Granted at 5:45 when he woke up he ended up in the bed with me but he's learning to sleep on his own. But I'm ok with the morning snuggles for now!
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