Pregnancy is rough on the Baby Daddy, so I write this list of apologies to say, I know, honey... I know.
I apologize for the 15 pounds you will gain from my second dinner at 9:30 each night.
I'm sorry you will have to work so hard to lose your pregnancy weight and the new baby will pretty much take care of mine.
I'm sorry I chowed down on a sausage-egg-biscuit from Micky D's in the Target parking lot without you this morning.
I'm sorry for keeping you awake from 3:00-5:00 am every morning as I toss and turn trying to get comfortable.
I'm sorry for making you sleep in the guest room for several nights, then asking you to come back and then kicking you back out at 4:00 am.
I'm sorry for telling you I'd be permanently "checking out" (or should we say checking in somewhere?) in 15 years once our kids were in high school due to my rapidly declining mental health and insomnia.
I apologize that our child runs around the house making pterodactyl noises in an effort to mimic my pregnancy belching.
I apologize that your stack of white t-shirts seems to vanish before your very eyes between laundry days.
I apologize that I continue to cook everything in butter when you asked that I switch to margarine or olive oil.
I'm sorry you bought me a bread machine and we still eat store bought bread.
I'm sorry I keep forgetting to buy the bread.
I apologize for constantly changing yogurt brands.
I'm sorry there is a little green potty with goofy frog eyes in the middle of the living room floor.
I'm sorry I don't let you do man things in peace.
I'm really sorry I bought those granny panties.
I'm sorry that in 6 months I'll be dragging you to the mall with our boys because I'm still just so fat and can't fit into anything.
I'm sorry I make you watch The Bachelor with me every Monday night... and before that one, SYTYCD, and Gossip Girl.
I apologize that every single afternoon you have to find all the exploded pieces of Mr. Potato Head.
Even though I will never use the term, "We are pregnant," you are 100% with me in this, and I thank you for putting up with this crazy pregnant lady.
Man, OK so that list made me both laugh and cry, which makes me think I might be pregnant too.
ReplyDeleteHeehee Ok whew! No crying here. Just laughing. No buns in my oven. Loved the list, but since when does pregnancy weight fall off? All Jerry has to do is think about the word low-fat and he loses 10lbs :-)
ReplyDeleteJason and I both enjoyed this. thanks!
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