Daniel is only two, but already we are having to make decisions about his schooling such as do we do Mom's Morning Out just one day a week or do we move him up to the two-day program in the fall? I know the questions only get more complicated the older he gets. Finding ourselves in the middle class, we probably have more options than some folks who have a single-parent household. For instance, while we probably won't opt for private schools, we could choose between homeschooling and the public school system.
I have long romanced the idea of homeschooling - getting to spend all day with my kids and introduce them to a wide variety of experiences they might not get in a public school. We could take fun field trips, explore various forms of art, learn trade skills, and allow them to find and explore the things that really excite them. We'd avoid the non-stop shuffling and disciplinary distractions of the public schools, thus reducing the time spent on actual classwork.
As for public schools, I struggle with the idea of trusting another teacher to be able to adequately prepare my kids for college and expand their minds, not because of her lack of experience or ability, but her lack of support from the state and school system due to overcrowding and underfunding. However, I see the pitfalls of removing my family from the system: the loss of a supportive family and actively involved parents in the classroom and PTA, a potential lack of social awareness and involvement on the part of myself and my children, and our potential alienation from the surrounding community due to an heir of eliteness (just to name a few). I really don't care about being judged by others for my choices, but if my choices isolate from the people God has called me to love and serve, this is problematic.
Recently, Vintage21 Church has started down a path of community involvement with Hunter Elementary School, which is just several blocks from my house. The number of children who are homeless and the even greater number who receive free lunch or lunch assistance brings great conviction to my heart. What if I were to stay home with my children providing them scholastic enrichment the very best of my ability, while so many children have no parents pouring into their lives, let alone anyone to even read to them? Is it right that I hole away in my home or with my friends and their children and use God's resources selfishly?
I am torn. I love my kids and obviously want to bless them with my resources, time, love, and ability to give them amazing learning opportunities. However, which would be the greatest blessing to their hearts: teaching them they deserve the very best or teaching them to share our best with others because Christ's love compels us to do so? Obviously there is a lot broken about the public school system and I am not willing to toss in my child and trust that he'll come out okay on the other end. However, I am not sure that the solution is total rejection of the system. I feel like perhaps I have a role in bringing renewal, but I have a lot to pray over in this arena before committing to decisions. I am excited to see what avenues the church takes towards restoration and see how this impact the hearts of the community.
I want to add that these thoughts are certainly not in judgment of my friends who are homeschooling. If anything, the amazing job these friends have done have inspired me even more to consider it as a serious option.
think you are creating a false choice between the types of education. One, you are assuming that you would be a marvelous educator to your child and that you would actually do all the things you say. Two, you are assuming that because much is wrong with the public school system that you might be stunting your child's educational growth. Neither is really the case.
ReplyDeleteBy virtue of being middle class and by you having advanced degrees, already your child is way ahead. Your child will never really struggle with educational issues the way a kid from a poor family with no education will. I went to public schools all my life (given they were middle class schools) and learned plenty (I think two master degrees and a PhD speak for themselves). The greatest impact was not the school system or the teaching of content, but learning how to learn. This my parents taught me, not by teaching curriculum, but by inculcating me into their lives. This your children have by virtue of being born to you.
Also, I think middle and upper class people are driven by the desire to see their children succeed and achieve. The assumption being that we want our children to at the very least, live as comfortable lives as us (materially, financially, etc.) if not a better life. The Bible, however, never makes this assumption. The chief thing we can give to our children is faithfulness and love of Jesus. Yet, when it comes to people in our demographic, though we say "of course, that's true," in practice we really are far more concerned about our children doing well in school, getting into the right colleges, and getting a good job. I cannot tell you how many parents I deal with who are freaked out about their two-year old getting into the right mommy and me thing, or are freaked out when there four-year old boy rather play than sit down and read. It's gone from ridiculous to idolatrous.
Recently it has been shown that the fastest growing group of people with high-risk mental issues are not the poor, it is the middle, upper-middle class kids of privilege. Education, security, comfort, material ease, and all the other trappings of middle, upper class society in America do not guarantee anything. See Madeline Levine, "The Price of Privilege: How Parental Pressure and Material Advantage Are Creating a Generation of Disconnected and Unhappy Kids."
As a youth minister, every single one of my kids would say, the chief reason of their life is to glorify God and enjoy him forever. And every single one of them say they feel huge pressure to do well in school and succeed in life. Also, when asked how being a Christian effects their life right now, let alone their schooling, choice of college, and job, none of them can give an answer. 95% of them are in private Christian schools that are not only considered good prep schools, but are good Christian schools too. I can go on and on about this. If you want to email back and forth about it, feel free to contact.
Oh as an aside, both Meg and I are agreed on this. Meg worked as an elementary school teacher for four years and has a degree in elementary ed. I worked as jr. high/high school teacher, teach them now as a youth minister (and of course, have taught at the college and seminary level too).
Blessings,
Rob
Paige,
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts are not from the educator/parental viewpoint, but rather the child's.
My parents homeschooled me from preschool through my sophomore year in high school, after which I went to a local public high school. They did this for a variety of reasons (military family, unsafe schools, moral/theological standpoints, and because we as children enjoyed it--in fact I remember being threatened at age 12 to be sent to school).
My plan has always been to homeschool. I feel that my mom did a phenomenal job in not only keeping me academically at par or above, but also emotionally, spiritually, and socially. I made friends easily, loved them deeply, and was still able to thrive and excel in academics. We were given many opportunities to be a part of sports teams, 4-H clubs and other various organizations that gave us many different experiences and interactions with other children.
In 10th grade, however, I had come to place in which I was able to admit that I had few, if any, friends that weren't believers. I was able to serve at homeless shelters and other places, but I longed for relationships that went further than a saturday or weekend interaction. I felt that as a follower of Christ I was called to love and to be a witness. I cannot say that I truly did this during my two years in public school, for instead I came face to face with my own pride against "cursing, drinking, and the like". I was hit with things that my parents had sheltered me from--movies, music, and cruelty. It took me a long time to realize my arrogance in looking at the world and to know how to love instead of seeking others' repentance.
I will not say that homeschooling brought about that pride or that it sheltered me. I think that my parents sheltered me because they thought it was protecting me, and maybe it did. I was naive, young, and very sensitive and don't know how I would have reacted to exposure earlier than that. I will also not say that public school was a waste, for I learned much, struggled in making friends, and found new passions.
I know this isn't really definite one way or another. I do not regret my upbringing, nor would I change it. I am not sure what I will do with our child, for I want them to love, to know Jesus and to follow him. But I don't think that just the school that he/she goes to will determine that. I think that Jesus determines that, and we seek wisdom and follow where we feel He places us.
Hope this wasn't too scattered.
Rob, it's great to hear from you and I really appreciate your thoughts. I've definitely seen the idolatry of education in my own life and often struggled to see where my inclinations (and obsession even) with my own child align with the words and life of Jesus. I may take you up on the emailing.
ReplyDeleteHi Paige
ReplyDeleteWhat an interesting and thoughtful issue. As a high school math and physics teacher I have to agree with Rob’s point that to some extent this is a false dichotomy. Yes, there is a lot wrong with the public schools (though NC schools have a lot going for them too), but I think the primary thing that makes a difference for students is the attitude of their parents- whether home or public schooled.
I have taught both remedial math and AP physics and almost every level of student in between and the primary difference I see in the students who are successful, well grounded students and students who struggle is the attitudes they have learned at home. To a student my remedial students came from families who could not or did not explicitly value education and were not involved in getting to know the school or teachers. My higher level students do not all have super involved parents, but they have all learned that education is important. Some of them have learned that the grade is important and will do anything to get it (often including cheating and over grade focused attitudes) and some of them have learned the value of hard work, honesty, and the joy of learning apart from grades.
I am a big supporter of the public schools and working with the system instead of abandoning it (for all the reasons you mentioned) and it would take a lot for me to decide not to send Jonathan to a public school. With that said, I plan to be as involved as possible with his teachers and schools (especially in the early years). Volunteering in his classroom if possible. And I hope that the attitudes we teach him at home will be able to transcend all of the imperfections he will come across in his education. But life isn’t perfect either and my hope is that by learning to deal with imperfections in a healthy way from an early age will serve him better than to be sheltered from them. Hope that helps! I’d love to talk more via email too- let me know!
Paige, I agree with Rob that education itself is not to be worshipped, but as a child who was homeschooled I don't agree with the "false dichotomy." In my situation, my mother homeschooled my brother and I until I was in 6th grade - then I went to public school. I aced every single assignment and always had questions for the teachers. Quickly, I realized other kids disliked me for those qualities. Eventually they got to know me, and I ended up having plenty of friends, but my point is that there was a clear disparity between my education level and theirs. I can say the same was true for 3 other friends who were homeschooled and then entered public school after 5th grade. One-on-one teaching and an environment where the child asks the questions, rather than facts being taught to the child in a planned sequence, were the difference in my case. See Dr. James Dobson's book Dare to Discipline for research on the complexities of early childhood development and the danger of rushing education.
ReplyDeleteToday we have friends who don't homeschool, but are so involved in their children's homework and school activities that it's almost as if the kids are homeschooled anyway. That may be what we end up doing if/when Autumn goes to public school, though for now I plan to homeschool for her first couple of years. But if the Lord tells me not to, I won't. And you don't have to choose one; my brother and I have tasted of both modes of education. You're not stuck in one or the other for life.
To me, the greatest difference was the way my parents used their opportunities with me at home.
When I was homeschooled I'd go through a new math text book within a month or two after it came in the mail because I was so excited to get it. I tested as 10th and 11th grade in reading and math. I had my own little chemistry lab in the garage, and collected insects and reptiles for biology lessons. I wrote and illustrated a few books, started a family newsletter, and built a motor with my dad. I entered a science experiment in a contest each year (and was awarded 3rd place for my grade level in the state of MO finals), played in a community sport team or swim team each season, and was involved in church and neighborhood functions for kids. Because of being around both kids adults all the time, my parents felt I was better socialized than most kids my age.
And my parents had much more time with me. People of all ages are subject to the "iron sharpens iron" concept found in the Bible. Mannerisms, language, beliefs, and general attitude can all be affected by the company you and your child keep.
But aside from my soapbox rant, I really respect your consideration of others who might benefit from your involvement in the public school. I'll pray that God gives you direction - His is truly the only opinion that matters, isn't it?
Paige,
ReplyDeleteAs I see you've had a lot of input on this, but I felt like maybe I could add my two cents worth.
I am an educator for the public school system. While it has it's flaws I think it can be a great resource to a child and to a family.
I really feel like public schools help educate children, but should never be the "end all, be all" to a child's education.
If I were to ever have children, I would place them in public school. With that, I know I would still be responsible for my child's education. I think school is a place you can learn how to deal with people, learn how to respect different kinds of authority. It also gives the child space to make mistakes and to be hurt, but with some boundaries. I would supplement my child's public school education with what I know.
My parents did a great job doing that with me. I "studied" things like starts and mythology during the summer with my mom. They would take us to the library and we could read about any topic and my parents would read stuff with us.
As a teacher I feel like parents put their kids in school and expect us, the teachers, to take care of everything. I think there can be a happy medium between homeschooling and public schools. I think it may be more of a grey area, opposed to the black and white topic it sometimes is.
I wrote this quickly, but just thought I would share!
Amy & Danielle, I appreciated the perspectives of homeschooled kids. It sounds like you both had great experiences with your mothers and that you valued the time you also had in public schools.
ReplyDeleteKrista and Jane, it was really encouraging to me that you ladies as public school teachers who probably see both the best and worst of the school systems would send your kids to public schools.
It sounds like a major key to a positive schooling experience isn't so much as where we end up schooling, but being active in my child's learning and understanding most of what shapes my child won't be in a classroom but rather how we live life together as a family. Thanks for all the input!
Rob,
ReplyDeleteDo you have facebook?
Amy & Danielle, I appreciated the perspectives of homeschooled kids. It sounds like you both had great experiences with your mothers and that you valued the time you also had in public schools.
ReplyDeleteKrista and Jane, it was really encouraging to me that you ladies as public school teachers who probably see both the best and worst of the school systems would send your kids to public schools.
It sounds like a major key to a positive schooling experience isn't so much as where we end up schooling, but being active in my child's learning and understanding most of what shapes my child won't be in a classroom but rather how we live life together as a family. Thanks for all the input!
Paige,
ReplyDeleteAs I see you've had a lot of input on this, but I felt like maybe I could add my two cents worth.
I am an educator for the public school system. While it has it's flaws I think it can be a great resource to a child and to a family.
I really feel like public schools help educate children, but should never be the "end all, be all" to a child's education.
If I were to ever have children, I would place them in public school. With that, I know I would still be responsible for my child's education. I think school is a place you can learn how to deal with people, learn how to respect different kinds of authority. It also gives the child space to make mistakes and to be hurt, but with some boundaries. I would supplement my child's public school education with what I know.
My parents did a great job doing that with me. I "studied" things like starts and mythology during the summer with my mom. They would take us to the library and we could read about any topic and my parents would read stuff with us.
As a teacher I feel like parents put their kids in school and expect us, the teachers, to take care of everything. I think there can be a happy medium between homeschooling and public schools. I think it may be more of a grey area, opposed to the black and white topic it sometimes is.
I wrote this quickly, but just thought I would share!