Artist Friend Plug: The Conservatory

My sophomore year in college I met a new freshman suite mate, Danielle. She was this quirky, artistic, fun and thoughtful gal whom I really enjoyed deep conversations and laughing with. Two years later, she transferred to another school to study art and we didn't keep in touch more than an occasion IM conversation here and there. Recently she returned to Raleigh and we reconnected through Facebook and have been enjoying catching up through our blogs.

Daniel always struck me as a talented artist (she does beautiful portraits), and recently through tough circumstances has come into a new passion of handmade accessories, onesies, and handbags. Her work is very impressive (and makes me totally envious). It's interesting how in times of trials our passions are often discovered or renewed. Check out her work on Etsy and read helpful and creative tips for saving money on home projects at her blog.

Sledding!

Trains and Leaf Blowers

For Daniel's birthday, Dee Dee and Paw Paw gave Daniel a Thomas the Train track set with a track extension pack, and Susu and Bubba got him several trains. So now Daniel has two Thomasses (one talks), Gordon, Toby, and Diesel 10. Every morning we do trains. In fact, every afternoon we do trains. When Joe gets home from work, we do trains. The chug-a-chug of the tiny motor and wheels on the plastic track has become a permanent sound in our living room and now in my brain.

You can imagine my confusion when after settled down into a freezer pizza induced food coma nap, I woke 45 minutes later completely baffled as to how the trains had turned themselves on and were chuffing around the tracks downstairs (or so I thought I was hearing). After shaking myself from my delirium and getting up to see if Daniel was still in his room napping, and noticing the sound had stopped, I was even more confused. Then the noise started up again. No, it was not the trains; it was someone blowing leaves at the house around the corner. The noises are not exactly the same, but they both hum and churn, and to someone just barely awake, they are easily confused.

One of our neighbors around the block is an avid leaf blower. There is nothing he likes more than to blow his leaves, and he does this quite frequently. I believe his passion for leaf blowing rivals Daniel's passion for trains. Unfortunately, he has taken to blowing the leaves between 3:30 and 4:00 in the morning. YES. IN THE MORNING. In case you were wondering, leaf blower noise cuts clear through ear plugs.

How did we discover it was this particular neighbor? While mom was in town, the big leaf sucker truck that takes away the leaves on the road had come through the neighborhood the previous day, and this neighbor was the only one with a freshly blown yard the next day. There were no other piles on the street. I honestly don't think the dormant Bermuda grass minds too terribly about a couple leaves in the winter.

I have thought of filing a noise complaint, but Someone I know once said to love your neighbor. I really did wake up at four one morning and debate calling the police (if you know how I am about night noises and insomnia you'd quit scratching your head in disbelief) but he finished about five minutes later. We wondered if perhaps he worked hours that demanded he could only blow leaves between three and four in the morning, but that theory has been proven false. Joe has heard him at 7:00 am as he takes out the trash, and I have now heard him in the afternoon. This really blows my mind, no pun intended. I'd hate to introduce myself as the neighbor around the corner, and "Oh by the way, could you not blow leaves while the rest of the neighborhood is trying to sleep?"

Aunt Roo Goes to Uganda

This morning Daniel and I drove Sarah (Aunt Roo, Joe's sister) to the airport. Today she leaves for a month-long trip to Uganda. Sarah has endured a very *fun* nine months since her college graduation trying discern God's will for this next stage of her life amidst a nearly impossible economy and teaching hiring freeze. For years, Sarah has shared her heart for international travel and missions but this year potential trips never quite fell in place. Finally, a door opened with our church Vintage21 to travel to Uganda for a month to assess the potential to begin ministry there involving meeting physical needs of people and raising up local leaders to plant a church. It is also a trip for Sarah to learn the hearts of the local people and develop a connection with them so that she can share that with church members and potential ministry partners upon her return. This trip is possibly only the first step of her journey and Joe and I couldn't be prouder of Sarah for trusting in God's provision of safety and guidance while also trusting church leadership. Selfishly, we are glad the trip is only a month, because we all love Sarah and know Daniel will be missing his Roo.

New Marbles Exhibit

Being that I've now reached the half-way point of pregnancy, my one-on-one time with Daniel is rapidly passing by. We've been playing pretty hard in the past week trying to make the most of our time. This morning we playing trains and tools before Daniel asked if we could go to Marbles. We went to Marbles on his birthday and had a lot of fun together but were sad to see that one of the upstairs exhibits was closed for renovations. This morning it was open, and we both agree that it is pretty awesome.


The theme of the exhibit is money: banking, saving, transporting, borrowing, earning, etc, which is all well over Daniel's head. However, the physical make-up of the space is tons of fun with a tall tower and swirly slide, a ball pit, an armored truck, dog walking business, pizzeria where you can make, bake, and sell a pizza, lemonade stand, and light-up cha-chinging coin stacks.


Daniel was not satisfied until his preggers mama had gone down the swirly slide with him several times.


I was not satisfied until I got a picture of my face in the million dollar bill.


Daniel applied for a loan, called in a special order of whatever toddler virus was being passed around on the cb radio, and jumped on the coin stacks.


He was so worn out after all the fun, that he didn't quite make it all the way to our next stop.

Task Oriented Organization, Goal Oriented Mind

While at times I can be very focused on details, I tend to be more of a big picture person- I see forests, not trees. Where I struggle the most is in home making. Keeping a house in order forces me to come down out of the clouds, and I tend to get swamped down and quickly overwhelmed by the details and lose sight of the major goals: a peaceful, orderly, inviting, functional home.

Being overwhelmed by the tasks can be attributed to several causes. 1) As a group, they are very large and unending. We have just under 2,000 sq ft of house plus a garage, every square inch of which progressively gets dirtier with or without our help. 2) Pride - initially as a Phd graduate and a new mom, I struggled to see my value not in what I could do and accomplish but the attitude in which I served in whatever tasks were before me, whether writing research papers or folding laundry. 3) I feel trapped by schedules and lists. This might lead you to believe I am a type B personality, but I am an extreme perfectionist and am very uptight about particular things.

Because I am big-picture minded, I have to find the motivation to handle these tasks by seeing how they impact our family's life. I have to step back and regain a view of the forest. A very sobering thought to me is that what I do with my day and the attitude in which I do it speaks volumes as to how I view and value Joe. I absolutely buck up against the image of "the little housewife", which is another topic probably begging to be explored, but the fact of the matter is I am home a lot, I have a good bit of unproductive time during which I could accomplish some housework, I should put that time to good use.

When Joe comes home from a long day, it is disrespectful of me to allow him to go around straightening up. Sure, he's way better at it than I am, but am I not just as accountable for how I have spent my day as he is? In essence, leaving the place a mess says, "Cleaning up is beneath me and my PhD, and I'm happy to leave you with the task even though you've spent your entire day honoring us by working and keeping a good rapport with your bosses and coworkers." Joe has never said to me that he expects me to pick up and have the place spotless, but a clean house is vital to his emotional health as he walks in the door. Also, Joe's love language is acts of service. He has told me that he picks up the place as a way of loving me and Daniel. His kindness just kills me sometimes!

The other way my home making habits impact our family is the example they set before Daniel. It's my job to teach Daniel to be responsible for his possessions and his room. It is also my responsibility to show Daniel what it means for a wife to love her family and home. Of course this may look drastically different from family to family and woman to woman, but our reality is that I have the ability to clean, I'm not being asked to do it perfectly, and it makes Joe's life easier and healthier. Joe already sets an example of a dad that contributes to our home life on multiple levels: working, cleaning, playing, etc. It's time to step up my game.

Now that I'm seeing the big picture again, it's time to tackle some details (I'm off to put away laundry and a raucous train set.)

Rant

As a mother, there are many complex aspects to raising a child, but on the purely animalistic level, there are only a few simple duties: keep the child fed, keep the child safe in play and sleep, and teach the child social interaction. It is no wonder that when one of those three isn't panning out, the emotional wound on a mom's heart cuts so very deep. I have a very picky eater who not only has a book long list of things he won't even try, but who also regularly drops foods from his happy list - PIZZA?? seriously? Nothing hurts more than feeling like I am daily failing at feeding him.

The absolute worst is when I pick him up from mom's morning out or a grandparent's and hear that he had no trouble with food and ate everything he was given. Sure, I am happy to hear he ate well, but this means that I am even more of a failure since someone else was able to get him to eat and I wasn't. The other thing I can't handle is a mom of pudgy toddler saying, "Well have you tried such and such?" Honestly, I'd much rather take them out with a quick blow than take their advice... sorta how I'd like to take out Barry Manilow who is disgracing my tv with his Botox and voice almost as silky smooth as his should-be-wrinkled skin on the Today Show as I type.

No, this is not my usual uplifting "Jesus will sort it out" entry. The other struggles I have blogged about were typically some experienced loss and grief that God was carrying me through. In this, I feel like my character is being constantly chiseled away at. I am in the middle of a real struggle that brings me to tears, pushes the limits of my temper, causes deep insecurity. I'm definitely not above admitting the mistakes I've made along the way in training him to eat better and in my reactions to his refusals. But on another level, I have to accept that my child is an individual. There is a very fine line between being firm and crushing a child's spirit. There is a very fine line between guiding and controlling. There is a very fine line between allowing me to feel hurt and succumbing in overly indulgent self-loathing and pity.

Blowing Out Candles

Belly Pic, 19 Weeks, 5 Days

This morning I got to feel the baby kick my hand while it was resting on my belly. It won't be too long before Joe gets to feel him kicking too! Notice the cat making an appearance... poor kitty got her tail smashed in the door this morning and is now angry at the world.

In other news, Daniel's party went well. He kept the party moving deciding when it was time to do cupcakes and open presents. I can't tell you how many parties (particularly showers) I've been to where two hours in, the must-dos were still left to be done leaving me in the awkward position of desperately wanting to slide out the door but instead being forced to take a fifth pass by the food table. Not with my boy, he was on it!

He Said, She Said

Me: So I'm thinking maybe I'll just start adding some flax seed to his pancakes...
Joe: What is flax seed?
Me: It's that stuff that's good for you that people put in healthy bread?
Joe: You don't know what it is, but you want to put it in Daniel's pancakes? Couldn't you go with fruit or something?
Paige: No, it's good! It's what all the crazy health nuts put in everything!

Flax seed, anyone?

Happy Birthday, Daniel!

Two years have flown by, and my newborn is now a toddler! This morning, Daniel and I celebrated at Marbles Kids Museum, which was mostly empty for the first 30 minutes, leaving him all the steering wheels and trains he could hope for. After that, we picked up Joe and went to Chick-fil-a in Garner. Daniel didn't eat much, but really enjoyed the jungle gym and daddy's sweat tea. Tomorrow afternoon we are throwing his first party with his toddler pals. I'm planning on making the cupcakes from last year. Pictures will be posted!

Preparing the Soil in Raised Beds

If you haven't already added compost to your soil for the upcoming season, now might be a good time to do so while it is unseasonably warm and the soil is workable. In raised beds, getting soil tested may not be necessary if you are using more topsoil, compost and supplements than the naturally occurring soil. Personally, I have not had my soils tested, but as I expand beyond the raised beds this year, I probably will.

Last year, I had pretty good results with the combination I used in my raised beds. I took cues from "Square Foot Gardening" and from my pocketbook. Following is approximately what I used per 4'x12' bed.

• 1 - 50 lb bag Black Kow Compost (Available at Lowes and Home Depot)
• 1 - 20 lb bag Black Hen Compost (Available at Lowes and Home Depot)
• 4 cu ft Peat Moss (You can find these in 4 cf bails at Ace Hardware)
• 6 cu ft Garden Soil for Flowers and Vegetables (Available at Lowes, Home Depot and Ace Hardware)
  

I also had some leftover Vermiculite from a friend. There was just enough for a thin layer over the beds. I turned the soil over about 12-18" deep, trying to mix everything in evenly.

In the 4'x4' boxes, I ran into problems (blossom end rot and powdery mildew) likely due to overcrowding, a lack of calcium, fluctuating moisture levels, and poor drainage. We have pretty heavy soils that retain water, but we were also hit by drought conditions during which I didn't water enough. This year, I will be planting tomatoes and squash in other areas of the garden to increase air flow and to prevent any recurring diseases that tend to hit tomatoes if planted in the same area repeatedly.

Most likely I will only be adding calcium and Black Kow and Black Hen in the coming weeks. From what I have read, this compost is fairly pH neutral.

Seeding and Planting Timeline

My brother recently requested that I let him know whenever I was planting something so that he didn't plant too late this year. Last year I was an eager beaver planting earlier than most, which lead to my tomatoes coming in a month before most of my friends and my squash gave me a nice early crop before being ravaged by pests. Other plants were too early, and I either had to replant or just never enjoyed any yield from them. So I started revising my planting dates to prepare for Spring.

This spring and summer I will be growing onions, peas, lettuce variety, potatoes, tomatoes, squash, zucchini, a pepper variety, pole beans, and okra. Ten seems like a good place to start. I will leave the melons and corn to the farmer's market this year unless I happen to get ambitious while nursing a newborn - doubtful. Raleigh's last frost date is May 11 (last killing frost is April 1 - 11 according to NCSU CES), so only frost tolerant plants should be put outside before this date. I take risks on my tomatoes and plant extras. Tomatoes can stand to get a little cold, and although they may temporarily droop, will still produce good yields.

Late January	Outdoors: onion sets (these can be planted through mid-February)
Mid February	Indoors: tomatoes, peppers Outdoors: spinach, romaine, peas (every two weeks following until end of April)
Late Feb - Early March	Indoors: squash, zucchini Outdoors: potatoes
Late March - Early April	Outdoors: tomato transplants (protect from frost on cold nights or wait until mid-April)
Mid April	Outdoors: squash and zucchini transplants, corn
Late April - Early May	Outdoors: pepper transplants
Late May	Outdoors: beans (every two weeks following)
Mid June	Outdoors: okra

North Carolina chart for Average Last Spring Freeze Date (1949-1998)

What Do You Do With 150,000

I've been saturating myself with the reports and images from Haiti. The interviews with individuals - their stories of rescue and loss pull deeply on my heart, but I find it so difficult to wrap my head and heart around 150,000 lives lost. At some number, though I don't know what, I lose sight of the person and it becomes a people. And at some point a people becomes bodies, and beyond that bodies becomes piles to fill mass graves, and we who read the news struggle to process the tragedy. My heart is just not large enough to see the faces in the masses. We understand losing a family member or perhaps many family members and friends. We can imagine losing a neighborhood, but beyond that, I imagine many of us cannot go there mentally or emotionally.

This morning I was reading in Matthew 12 and was struck by a Savior who lived amongst the masses and yet sought out the individuals. I was humbled by his tenderness towards the weak and broken, his elevation of love over religious practice, and how he cut straight to the hearts of the lost. Matthew reflects on Jesus's life and remembers Isaiah 42: 1-4,

1 "Here is my servant, whom I uphold,
my chosen one in whom I delight;
I will put my Spirit on him
and he will bring justice to the nations.

2 He will not shout or cry out,
or raise his voice in the streets.

3 A bruised reed he will not break,
and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out.
In faithfulness he will bring forth justice;

4 he will not falter or be discouraged
till he establishes justice on earth.
In his law the islands will put their hope."

It's A Boy!

Time to Plant Onions in NC

It's strangely warm outside, and I thought I'd look into onion planting dates for NC. Last spring I waited until March or April and my plants bolted and never bulked up. According to the Department of Horticultural Science at NCSU, the window for Spring planting is January 15 - February 25. For more information on planting onions, check out this information leaflet from NCSU.

Bed For Daniel

There are just under five months until the newest Puckett will be making his/her appearance, which means room assignments are shifting! On Friday of last week I called up a Craigslister to inquire about a toddler bed and mattress for Daniel's new room. It was quite a deal and Daniel and I headed out to Crabtree to pick it up. We talked about how he would be getting a big boy bed, and as soon as we loaded in the headboard, he exclaimed, "Daniel bed!"

When we got home, Daniel had a great time playing on the mattress and watching me assemble the bed. This Wednesday, we went to Target to get a comforter and sheet set I found on clearance. He could hardly contain his excitement when I spread out the comforter on the living room floor for him to lay on. He kept talking about his big bed and loading it down with monkey, green, and bumpy (names of the two blankets).

Wednesday evening we had a severely failed attempt at putting him to bed in his new room, but last night after every bedtime routine Joe could muster up, Daniel stood in the hallway with his monkey trying to decide which bed to sleep in. I stood at the crib and Joe stood with him at the door to his new room, Joe cheering on the big bed, and me telling him to come get in his crib. Daniel said, "No no no. Big bed." I began pulling all the animals and blankets left in the crib and he giggled calling out their names and we took them to his new bed. After crying in my arms a little because he was very tired and a little nervous, I layed him down and layed out his blankets on him, said prayers and kissed him goodnight. Daniel whimpered, "Bye bye!" and then fell asleep.

This morning at about 6:50 am, I heard, "Mama! Mama!" That sweet little guy was sitting up in bed waiting for me to get him up. I'm sure he will soon learn that he can crawl out of bed on his own, meaning I'll lay in bed until he comes to find me, but I was so proud of him for making it the whole night that I rushed in to kiss him and congratulate him

More shots around the room:

Poop Poop?

When Daniel and I have a morning of errands to run, there is a small window of opportunity to get out the door that will allow enough time to complete everything without melting down in the middle of what is usually the last stop. If I spend the entire morning getting us ready, he gets upset that there's no play time. So this morning we played downstairs and ate chocolate chip pancakes before I took a shower and blew out my hair just enough to prevent icicles from forming around my neck in the twenty-eight degree weather. Daniel wore what he had on yesterday and wore to bed last night (complete with a crusty something on the shoulder, and I opted for sweatpants, a thermal hoodie and a cat-hair covered fleece that no longer zips around my hips without riding up... thanks, baby.

The state of our appearance was of no concern to me at Target and Bed Bath and Beyond. However, second on the list was to pick up Joe's rental tux at Men's Warehouse. Compared to the men in svelte, tailored suits, Daniel and I looked like a pair of hobos. At this point, my half dried hair was less "done" than it was rigged, Daniel was covered in cracker crumbs, and I was donning the oh-so-fashionable toddler backpack slung over my shoulder. Mr. Suave was gracious enough as he fetched the tux and rang us up, but as we stood at the counter, Daniel points at my crotch and asks not once but three times, "Poop poop?"

Daniel has decided that passing gas sounds like its closely related body function and now appointed himself as poop-poop caller-outer. Mind you, I did NOT poop-poop at the counter. I have no idea what he heard or smelled but it wasn't me. I casually said, "No poop poop. Do you have poop poop?" This seemed to satisfy Daniel who didn't bring up the topic again. I was all to happy to get out the door!

Engineered, but not Reversed

Our church does this yearly practice in early January called "Reverse Engineering". Individuals and families are asked to prayerfully assess nearly all aspects of their lives: priorities, habits and patterns, relationships, finances, daily schedules, vacations, emotional and physical health, spiritual development, family life, etc to make the most of the time and resources they have available. The idea is to look at where you see God directing your life - 1,2,5 and 40 years into the future - and begin to structure your life to healthily make the most efficient use of these resources so that you are best equipped to fulfill that calling.

Joe is a list maker and I am an insane dreamer, but at the onset of this new year, we found ourselves very reluctant to go any further than assessing the current status and making small practical decisions such as time organization and vacation planning. As we were driving back from Raleigh after an overwhelming trip to IKEA on a sale day, I found myself breezing through the questions, half jokingly responding, "My job is to be a mom... my calling is to be a mom... my ministry is raising Daniel... My exercise is chasing Daniel... Daniel Daniel Daniel mom mom mom... OKAY! DONE!" Joe was being frustratingly ambivalent in all his answers. I finally asked, "What's the deal? I haven't gotten one straight answer out of you!" Joe's response was that after the last year we had with serial cutbacks and layoffs at work and two miscarriages, he felt a total lack of confidence to project any length of time into the future.

In reality, we had been discussing some of the topics during the past week, so our attempts were not a total wash, but neither of us really felt empowered to dream big or make any definitive goals other that paying off car debts, writing and filing our will in case we die, being more intentional in vacation/staycation planning and spending time with each other, and in general to carry on doing what we have been doing in our jobs and to keep up the current ministry - Joe in a redemption course development and teaching the pre-marriage courses, and I in mothering Daniel and preparing for another child.

As I began reading scripture in preparation for Reverse Engineering, focusing on verses that discuss how the spirit of God moves his people and the dangers of making definitive statements about the future, I felt that this was maybe a year to say, "How about we step forward one day at a time?" There is much wisdom in smart financial planning and getting the household in order, which we have already done a lot of. However, if anything, God has shown us this past year that not our will, but His will be done. I believe 2010 is a year for us to express gratitude for both the paths covered and the current place we find ourselves, press our noses to the grindstone, our knees into the ground before His feet and lift our hands to say, "You are good, what next?" Maybe by next January we will be ready to begin dreaming again.

Gardening - Just A Novelty?

Another issue of Organic Gardening came in the mail yesterday, and is still in the plastic wrap. I'm not sure how I keep getting these since I didn't pay for them, but I am not complaining. Maybe I signed up for a free trial? My Fall gardening completely bombed due to one main factor: morning sickness. I wasn't in the mood for anything green for about 15 weeks, and it seems to me that Fall gardening is all about green: lettuces, broccoli, more lettuces...

I had a fairly comprehensive plan for this coming season, but with a baby due in the middle of June, I am rethinking quantities and scope. I don't know that I will be up for canning gallons of tomatoes, but I definitely will reprise the pizza sauce as we've really enjoyed cooking pizza from scratch - dough, sauce, sometimes peppers - all but cheesing the cow and making pepperonis.

My waning enthusiasm shows me that I still partially approach gardening as a novelty rather than a way of life. If I feel in the mood, I will garden. So just like the winter cooking bug hits around the holidays, the Spring planting but hits me about February, or on January 8, when my brother mentions he's ready for warm weather so he can start planting. The power of suggestion can do a number on a planting junkie. Part of the problem is that failures in the garden can be crushing when a lot of time and effort was put into the planning and preparations. There is a learning curve that probably takes years, and meanwhile, the effort to produce ratio can be discouragingly high.

I am thinking through an idea that may turn into a long-term community plan. It seems that everyone has their forte with specific crops. Mine last year was tomatoes, Anaheim peppers, and beans. One of my friends did superbly with cucumbers. My neighbor excelled with eggplant, watermelon and collards. Perhaps instead of attempting to dabble in 10 different crops, and doing some of them quite poorly, we could develop a community crop exchange system. I don't know that this will be the Spring to get this going, but it is definitely something I want to work on in the future. Personally, I like to do things well, but when I spread myself too thin and feel unproductive, I begin to treat gardening as a novelty.

Baby Heart Beat at 17 Weeks

I ordered a Fetal Doppler on Amazon for $32.98 on Tuesday and because of my free trial for Prime (free 2-day shipping for a month), it came in the mail today. I couldn't resist making a short recording of what I heard!

Who's making popcorn in my UTERUS?

I haven't been feeling much of the baby. This has me totally freaked out. However today, it feels like someone is cooking popcorn in my uterus. One kernel at a time. Like once every 10 minutes or so (after several hours of nothing).

I was going to just twitter the title of this post, but the word uterus brought back a random high school memory. I have translated a good portion of Virgil's The Aeneid from Latin to English. Scoff if you will, I already knew I was a nerd. I took four years of Latin. Well surely you remember the story of the Trojan Horse. This is in the the epic poem, The Aeneid. Poof! You are now a nerd too.

In the story, the Greeks infiltrate the great walled city of Troy by sending a gift - a wooden horse with a hollowed out belly filled with Greek warriors. The Trojans, being a curious and perhaps greedy people by nature, wheeled in the horse. As the Trojans slept that night, the Greeks came out of hiding, unlocked the gates of Troy for the rest of warriors, destroyed the city, and made off with the drop-dead beauty, Helen.

And now I will get to the point of all this. Virgil used the Latin word "uterus" for the belly of the horse. As we translated in class, I was always sure to use the very literal translation of the word - uterus - simply to make my girlfriends giggle. I thought I was pretty funny. Looking back now, there's nothing funny about a uterus, but thinking of thirty Greek soldiers camped out in one for a whole day is a little humorous.

Holding Out For Healthy - A Little Toddler Talk

Anyone who knows me well probably laughs at my love of gardening knowing that I struggle to get my daily intake of fruits and veggies. While I've always wanted to change my ways, my concern over this never really hit home until I saw my toddler struggle with the same! It's not just a fruit and veggie issue, but a very common fear of trying new things and preference for a few select and not always healthy favorites. Some toddlers are amazing eaters, gobbling up anything in front of them, but that's not my boy. As an infant, he would try just about any puree, but that fearlessness is gone now. I've talked to several friends whose kids are close in age, and it seems french fries are the common favorite veggie with little interest in any others.

The past week I've been paying closer attention to the way we do food with Daniel and have identified a couple problems and solutions.

1. The table implies pressure, but the couch is fun.
Typically, we eat our meals at the table with Daniel in a booster seat without toys and things to distract him. This sets up the focus of the moment purely around the food, and when we are trying to introduce something new, there is no escape for him. This puts a lot of pressure on a little guy. I put a bite of the things we are eating on his plate, which he rarely ever tries unless it involves noodles or rice, and after minor meltdowns, we end up pulling out some yogurt or a bowl of cheerios. As opposed to the table, I've noticed that when I am on the couch and munching something he's not familiar with, he's typically going to hang around to see what I'm enjoying and possibly even ask for a bite. By letting him try something on his terms, food doesn't become a weapon of toddler torture but something to explore. What this means for our family is that we need to actively find ways to reduce pressure at dinner and maybe make use of the couch for trying new things until he is familiar with them. The major change needs to be my personal control over my emotions when he does reject foods. It can be very frustrating, but I must remember to relax and not take it personally.

2. I don't want to eat it, but if mommy likes it, maybe it is good.
Daniel has a hot and cold relationship with bananas, the one and only fruit I am able to get him to eat in its God-given form. If they are too green, he yells "Ewwww!" and is likely to not try them again for a month. Sometimes he rejects foods he enjoys, such as applesauce, simply because he's got his mind set on eating something else. What I've started doing is eating it myself and making a big deal about how much I am enjoying it, without offering him a bite, as if to say, "This is so good, I want it all to myself." I know - it's a dirty rotten trick, but after an evening blow up of not even trying a single bite of banana, the next day he ended up eating 2/3's of mine and demanding more. I even got him to lick (not bite) a raw carrot this way.

3. I just want crackers, but I'm REALLY hungry, so pass the yogurt.
Daniel loves fruit snacks and crackers. Chocolate too. Because I've been afraid he wasn't eating enough, I've been obliging to his requests. This becomes a problem on many levels - he fills up on snacks and has no appetite for other foods, he gets used to always getting his way, and I get lazy trying new things with him just to avoid a battle. This week, when he's asked for the usual snacks, I redirect him to a healthier choice or one of the food groups we have yet to tackle that day. This usually involves tears, hand pulling, more begging, and then eventually relenting to eating whatever I am smacking away at on the couch. After that is finished, if he asks for his snack again, I am happy to give it to him.

4. I will not take another bite until SOMEBODY wipes my mouth!
Daniel really doesn't like getting messy. It used to be that he'd yell and refuse a bite if he got food on his mouth or hands. If there are even drops of water on the outside of a sippy cup, he gets upset! Quickly we taught him to use a towel by himself, and the problem was solved! Just this morning, he asked for a paper towel for his lap while he ate a bowl of cheerios.

5. It tastes good, but the texture makes me gag!
Just like his momma, Daniel has a strong gag reflex and reacts strongly to uneven textures. We've started making fruit smoothies which enables me to sneak all kinds of unfamiliar fruits into the mix, and he loves it. Next step - hiding veggies in waffles!

I am hoping that over time, the unfamiliar foods will become more familiar, and that by choosing my battles and easing up on the pressure, Daniel will feel safer to try new things and enjoy our meal times together. Every child is unique and has their own quirks, but if you have any suggestions to offer, I am happy to hear them!

Ready To Start the Year

It looks like this first official week of the year is ready to fly out the gate. My very spatially oriented husband decided the upstairs needed an overhaul to give the New Year a fresh and functional feel. Yesterday, Joe took down the guest room from the room across the hall (my bat-cave on nights I can't sleep) and moved in all of Daniel's toys, play table and two book shelves from the room above the garage. He then took the rest of that room apart throwing out old nick-nacks and useless junk and relocated some items to the garage. He set up the guest bed in there and stole my laundry couch from our bedroom and the new guestroom is mostly complete, though it still needs me to pick up some blinds or a shade for privacy.

This led to the dilemma of the cat box. The cat box was in the room above the garage, but most of my family is highly allergic to cats, and leaving it in the guest room just wasn't going down with me. I found a fancy cat washroom that looks like a normal piece of furniture on Amazon (which the reviewers said looks more black than brown), and with three clicks of the mouse it should be arriving on Wednesday. This will go downstairs now in the front sitting room, which ironically is never sat in, thus leaving the upstairs cat utility-free. Of course, we have started the litter box migration where we move it about ten feet at a time so as to prevent major chaos and cleanup.

My classes start next Monday, and after a nice vacation with Joe, I will be working my tail off this week to get those courses polished and uploaded and ready for the students. This Spring I am teaching "Risk and Failure Assessment of Stream Restoration Structures " and "Ecohydraulics and River Corridor Function". These are both one-hour courses and once the semester begins shouldn't require as much of my time as the fall course, "Introduction to Land and Water Engineering". So far, teaching distance courses has logistically worked well for me, though I do miss the more personal interaction of the classroom setting. I'm not sure where this will lead long-term.

Next weekend, Joe and I are planning to do some short and long-term planning to sort through our priorities, life goals, and dreams and assess the flow of our daily lives and physical spaces to make sure we are setting ourselves up to be healthy and efficient in our lives' callings. It has always seemed ludicrous to sit down and determine what the next 40 years will look like. I love Jesus's words in John 3:8, "The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit." These verses from James 4:13-15 challenge me that planning must be approached with great humility and prayer,

Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that."

While there is hesitancy plan far ahead, I also see that God is very intentional and strategic in where He moves and guides people, so praying for direction and thinking through our family's future needs and goals could be a very healthy thing. Shoot, I've been doing it my whole life (the planning and dreaming), so why not make the reflection more directed and focused?

Well Daniel is up and probably would love a bowl of Cheerios about right now. Discussion topic to come: Depriving the toddler of junk food - holding out for healthy.

Rotational Identity

Through the amazing invention of fridge magnet letters and numbers, Daniel has learned about rotational identities - the fact that objects can change their symbology when viewed from a different angle.

It started with the W and M. At first, everything was a W, the W or the M turned right side up or upside down. Eventually he learned that an M is an M and a W is a W, but when turned upside down, they become the other. After that, he began to notice that the H looked a lot like an I when turned on its side. He'd hold up the H and say "H!" and then turned it and yell "I!". Next was N and Z. This was followed by the 6 and 9.

This morning Daniel tried out the method with an orange crayon. Thinking he was quite clever he held the crayon vertically and exclaimed, "Orange!" and then he turned it horizontally and said, "Blue!"

I Like This

16.5 Week Belly Pic

The Moments That Fill Two Points In Time

Time heals all wounds, time changes us, only time will tell...

We give such credence to the power of time over our lives, but I am convinced that it is not the passage of time that changes us, but the moments that fill two points in time.

I've loved reading my friends reflections of where they were ten years ago. Ten years ago, I celebrated New Years Eve with my high school friends who all returned to Chattanooga for the holidays. It was probably the last time we were all together and maybe even the last time I would see a couple of them. It was such an awkward time as we were all freshman in college and even after one semester deemed ourselves changed or reinvented. At midnight, though, we all put aside those changes and giggled over sparklers and sparkling cider as we stood in the cold night air along my country driveway.

That next morning was the last New Year’s Day my dad's family would all spend with our grandparents, Momsy and Popsy. Popsy passed away later that spring, but on that day, traditions were normal - ham, black-eyed peas, cornbread drenched in honey, football, blazing logs on the fireplace, and huge floor pillows draped with grown children in thick socked feet.

Ten years later, on New Year’s Eve Daniel was snuggled in his crib under blankets, monkeys and frogs, and Joe and I were watching a Burn Notice marathon on tv under dimmed lights. We started this morning off right with bacon and now we watch the Today Show as we wait for the groggies to melt away.

The passage of time didn't bring this transformation of places and faces, but it was thousands of small and big decisions. Thousands of conversations filled with laughter, processing life, and even tears. It was thousands of miles driven between Raleigh and the places that were once and will probably always be home. It was the losses, the victories, the mistakes, the grace and forgiveness, the love, the humor, the stories we shared that bring us to where we are now, in the shape we are now.

One of my fears has always been that time would pass and all I would be able to see was the starting and ending points - that I would forget the moments in the middle. And not just the events of those moments, but the emotions of those moments. This is one reason I write - to remember. Happy New Year, friends. As you reflect on the passage of time and maybe even celebrate fresh starts, appreciate the thousands of moments that have brought you to this point in time.