New Workplace Demands

The Moms of Extremely Loud Toddlers Union Sets New Workplace Demands

RALEIGH, N.C. Union representative Paige Puckett (30) claims that while the home workplace has many advantages such as pajama day (M-F), beer before 5pm and the shameless scratching of itchy places without fear of public scrutiny, that the strain on her ears has become too much, even for her.

"I find that I spend a good 27% of my day trying to lower the volume of the clients and then 11% of my day recovering from the failed attempts. We all know that 62% productivity leaves a lot to be desired."

Puckett set forth the following demands:

"Soft ear plugs with a decibel rating of at least 32. I just burned through my carton of 100 and am now stuck with some old stiff ones. Soft is crucial. I don't care so much about the color - at least not like I did back during my reckless contemporary Christian concert days of the 90s."

She also has demanded coinciding nap times for her two children, Daniel (3) and Matthew (7 months). "And during this nap, I turn off the tv and make sure I can either nap or bathe." She says that home cleanliness is important but not as important as maintaining a shred of sanity for her husband when he gets home.

In her case, Puckett claims the customer is not always right. "I know it's important to work with the clients, to come to reasonable compromises, but these noise issues I won't budge on. Today, I was telling Daniel not to yell, so he closed his mouth and proceeded to hum-screem at ear-bleeding levels. This is not acceptable."