10 Weeks of Vegetable Gardening: Week 5

Each Friday I am posting a weekly guide for prepping your home vegetable garden. In Raleigh, the last killing frost date is April 11 (on average, give or take a week), so my first weekend for planting (summer crops) outdoors is April 9.

This week we remember our pollinators. I would write out a beautiful article for you on bees, but alas, that has been done here. Please check it out.

To summarize:
Don’t use pesticides
Use local native plants (avoid hybrids)
Chose several colors of flowers
Plant flowers in clumps
Include flowers of different shapes
Have a diversity of plants flowering all season
Plant where bees will visit

From Beegreen Gardens, here is a list of native bee plants for North Carolina:
Asclepias tuberosa - Butterfly Weed
Baptisia australis - False Indigo
Bignonia capreolata - Crossvine
Callirhoe involucrata - Poppy Mallow
Campsis radicans - Trumpet Vine
Chasmanthium latifolium - River Oats
Chrysoganum virginianum - Green and Gold
Echinaceae purpurea - Purple Coneflower
Iris cristata - Crested Iris
Lobelia cardinalis - Cardinal flower
Lobelia siphilitica - Great Blue Lobelia
Lonicera sempervirens - Coral Honeysuckle
Penstemon digitalis - Beardtongue
Physostegia virginiana - Obedient Plant
Rudbeckia fulgida - Black-eyed Susan
Salvia lyrata - Lyre-Leaved Sage
Solidago canadensis - Goldenrod
Tiarella cordifolia - Foamflower

This weekend I am planting a butterfly garden mix that I found at Costco, which only has one from the list above, but does meet the suggestions of various shapes, sizes and colors. I guess that gives me an excuse to hit up the plant nurseries!

Finding Your Calling

Earlier this week I wrote a blog post, deleted it, and then sent it to the women in my Community Group. It is embarrassing when you ask the same questions for years on end only to stay just as confused. This pursuit of finding our "calling" as it relates to the local church and God's work at large can seem impossible to nail down as our lives and circumstances are constantly in flux. As an undergrad I had a very different idea of what serving God looked like than I do now as a mother of two children with a part-time job.

Back in high school, my youth pastor Phil drew a diagram one Sunday morning that looked somewhat like a bulls eye. He described the outside circle as God's general will for all mankind - that they would love Him and obey His commands (one being to go and tell people about Him). The inner circle was described as God's specific will, which on occasion we might be called to. For instance, God sent Moses to Egypt. He explained that God loves us unconditionally, and as long as we were inside that outer circle, we were a-okay. We didn't have to have an approved agenda of how to spend each minute of our day. Pick what you enjoy. Really?

Here is a chunk of what I sent to my friends:

What does God expect from a stay-at-home mom with two little kids? Is it that God has more expectations of me right now, or am I just projecting and using religion to validate my own insecurities? I remember last time I brought up this topic (maybe on Facebook?) I got wonderful responses about how raising small children is exactly where I am supposed to be, but I keep hearing about normal people doing amazing things, and I’ve got to admit that it overwhelms me and makes me a little jealous, which is absolutely the wrong motivator to plugging in to a ministry somewhere. But seriously, how cool is starting up non-profits to help underprivileged or at-risk kids/orphans/etc. Any plugging in should derive from plugging into Jesus and being led in a direction. Any motivation I feel right now probably stems from envy, escapism, desires to make something of myself (disgusting I know, but at least I’m honest). Pastor Tyler keeps preaching on it, so I keep thinking about it.

It was so encouraging hearing back from them. Some were in the place as I, some felt pretty strongly that they knew their own calling, and some were in the process of figuring it all out. The common conclusion that we all seemed to come to is summed up by this verse:

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. - Colossians 3:17

This is our calling. What we do and what we say, no matter what that is, should be representative of the person Jesus Christ and done or spoken with grateful hearts. If I am struggling to find my calling, then perhaps there is an issue with one of two things: 1) I am disconnected from the person Jesus Christ or 2) I have an ungrateful heart. Personally, I don't feel the two can be mutually exclusive. If we know Jesus, really know him, we can't help but have gratitude.

I realize this doesn't answer the question of "What should I do?" but maybe the question of calling is not to be a question of action, but a question of being - at least when it comes to that outer circle mentioned earlier. I envy those who have found themselves in that inner circle for a time knowing exactly the tasks they are to complete, but the harsh reality is that if I am not willing to dwell in that outer circle where I am living out Colossians 3:17, how can I ever be available for God to bring me into that inner circle if He so chooses?

Just because I don't feel called to adopt a child right now, start up a new non-profit, or volunteer my time at a gospel-centered ministry does not mean that I have failed to answer God's calling unless He actually has told me to do one of those. And if others have been called to do those things, it does not mean God loves them more or is prouder of them. I am so disgusted by my comparative Christianity and the way I seem determined to evaluate myself on my own terms rather than His.

However, there is grace. There is always grace.

Gardening and Entrepreneurs

I've been working hard to get the garden ready, and this morning I finally planted something in it! No, onions aren't too thrilling, but they are a great way to start! I've also moved the tomato sprouts out to the cold frame. Half the fence posts are up, and it feels like the garden is coming together.

Yesterday we spent the entire day outside. First we went to Matt and Amy's to cut down some bamboo for our teepee, then we played outside and friends came to visit. After family nap time, we spend more time working on the garden... meaning Matthew played on the deck, Daniel drove cars, and I turned over every square foot of soil in my 20 ft by 30 ft garden. We ended the day with a wagon ride around the culdesac and talking to neighbors.

That's dried oreo goo on the baby's face :)

Whenever I get passionate about something, I immediately start brainstorming business opportunities. Why is that? A potter friend once told me to follow passions and eventually you might get paid for them, but if not you at least are doing something you love. Perhaps I am an entrepreneur at heart, but for right now, I just need to focus on family - I think. I don't know. I'm pretty excited about starting up the new blog "Love Sown" and I can see potential in that to expand beyond just a blog, with a lot of writing, energy and more readers. The best part about Love Sown is that it is based on two passions, family and gardening, and it allows me to  build into both while pursuing a third passion, writing (or blogging - but must I use the word? It embarrasses me).

What makes an entrepreneur? How do young moms balance hopping on board new ideas and endeavors and family? Really, I am looking for input here. I know amongst my readers there are plenty young women who've started their own businesses and ministries. What did it take for you to jump off that ledge and go for it?

10 Weeks of Vegetable Gardening: Week 4

Each Friday I am posting a weekly guide for prepping your home vegetable garden. In Raleigh, the last killing frost date is April 11 (on average, give or take a week), so my first weekend for planting outdoors is April 9.

Do you have a cold frame? Joe built me one last year so I could move my plants outside and our family could once again eat in our dining room. A cold frame isn’t essential, but it does have several advantages. Cold frames allow you to warmly store plants outdoors by letting in the sun and trapping the heat while it is still too cold to put them in the ground. If you have a larger garden and start most your plants from seeds, keeping all the sprouts indoors can be impractical. The cold frams can also help gently acclimate sprouts to the cooler outdoor temperatures, a process called “hardening off”. A cold frame can be as simple or as fancy as you like. We made ours out of reclaimed materials, which gave me the warm greenies.

If you already have a cold frame or don’t need one, take the time this weekend to catch up on getting your garden in shape. We still have a fence to build, soil to prep (rocks to remove) and onion sets to plant!

Tasks:

• Do a little internet search on “cold frames” and check out all the fun designs out there.
• Hit up the flea market or the Habitat ReStore to get materials for your box. Habitat typically carries lumber and windows.
• Get handy and build your box… or pull out that plastic card and take a gander to the Gardner Supply Store.
• Find a sunny spot for the location of your cold frame that is protected from the wind. This can be against your house or it can be placed directly inside a garden box.
• Once your sprouts have their first set or two of true leaves, relocated them to the box and make sure they have something to filter the light for the first several days as their leaves will be prone to burning.
• This week you can start the following indoors: Kale, Broccoli, Brussels Sprouts, Cabbage, Cauliflower, Collards, Lettuce, Watermelon.

our cold frame

Love Sown is Launched!

If you know me at all, you know I get downright giddy about gardening. I make no claims of expertise, only of solid attempts and biting off more than I can chew. If you add kids to the equation, you get my mind reeling. I'm starting this new blog "Love Sown" so I be more intentional on finding projects to do with the boys outside without exhausting those of you who are already overwhelmed by the garden posts (of course I am already envisioning selling my own seed mixes, garden totes and t-shirts).

Pocket Smiles isn't going anywhere, and it will still be just as personal and self-incriminating as usual. Do me a favor if you do like gardens + kids. Go visit Love Sown and follow me there or subscribe to the posts.

Thanks!

Wordless Wednesday: Tilling Time

Trails and Tots

I have a terrible habit of attempting to rally together friends for kid outings at the last minute. While I want to take the boys on fun adventures, I get a little nervous doing it all alone. Sometimes the rallying works, and sometimes I end up alone. I know I'm not really alone because I have my boys with me, but I tend to picture it as me taking on the boys rather than taking the boys. On days like today, I find that alone time with the boys can be really sweet, which is always encouraging after major flops like the time Daniel screamed the entire time we were in Lowes to pick up an order at Christmas.

This morning I attempted a major act of bravery. I did a double errand trip with a hike and picnic in the middle. This was after spending an hour in the garden with Daniel lining up bricks. The outdoor excursion was a 1.5 mile round trip on the greenway in between our two grocery stops. Daniel really seems to be in his element when we are outside. While he opted to ride on the canopy of the jogging stroller rather than walk, he did climb trees, jump creaks, and sit on stumps.

Right now there is so much attention on the baby as the world is opening up for him, but I love watching Daniel's enthusiasm for learning about nature, tools, and basically any subject that he can tell us about. This morning our neighbor was drilling at his shed and Daniel ran into the garage to get Joe's drill so he could work too. Watching him develop his understanding of the Bible can be quite amusing. At one point during lunch, he saw a lady jogger and yelled, "There's God!" I'm not sure what inspired that. Perhaps it was the sun beams coming down over her on the running trail.

Today has been a reminder to really see my kids. It's hard enough to just go through the motions of the day and arrive at the other end not feeling worn down, but to be present and connect with them, listen, and really hear them takes a whole new level of energy and sacrifice. Sometimes I have to put down the bricks I'm lining up in the garden and hold the end of the measuring tape for Daniel just because.

Matthew and the Buzzy Bee (Video)

10 Weeks of Vegetable Gardening: Week 3

Each Friday I am posting a weekly guide for prepping your home vegetable garden. In Raleigh, the last killing frost date is April 11 (on average, give or take a week), so my first weekend for planting outdoors is April 9.

I have a tendency to do before planning and end up with far more things to plant than there is space for. However, if you are willing to put in a little time and thought, there is no need to waste seed and materials. Go out and measure the size of your garden and use this sample chart to help you determine how many plants to include and the amount of space each will take.

Summer Crops (Plant after first frost)

The next step is to sketch out your garden and plan where things will go. I prefer to use a 1ft grid. I take into consideration the path the sun makes across the sky, the height of plants, shade, where I have planted things before (rotation is important with tomatoes in particular), which plants compete with each other or can serve as companions. I love using this article on Wikipedia as a guide.

This past weekend I worked on my plan. I like to get a little crazy each summer by trying something experimental. One summer I did a "Pillar of Peppers" which completely flopped, and last summer I tried a mini field of corn with pole beans growing up them. That flopped too. This summer I am trying a "Wampanoag Garden" which I came across while researching companion plants.

Now it is your turn!

Tasks:

• Make your own chart with the veggies you want to include.
• Determine how many of each you want to plant. For guidelines on how many plants are required to feed a person per year, check out “Home Vegetable Gardening” by NCCES.
• Determine if your plans exceed your capacity. If so, cut back on the plants, make plans to expand, or consider growing vertically and other intensive growing methods. Viney plants such as cantaloupe, pumpkin and watermelon can be allowed to sprawl outside a raised bed, so they won’t necessarily take up all that space in the garden if you train them properly.
• Sketch your beds and color in potential locations for the plants.
• The following seeds may be started indoors: dill, eggplant, sage, spinach, swiss chard, and tomatoes.

Kids' Garden Teepees

This will finally be the summer Daniel gets his own space in the garden. Now that he is three, he wants to be involved in everything we do, and I can't wait to share my passion for growing things with him. I want a space that he can play in and use his imagination without having to worry he will destroy the rest of the garden. When my friend and I traveled to Monticello, there were amazing teepees and domes that have inspired me to create something similar on a smaller scale in my own yard.

I have pole beans, Moonflower and gourd seeds. I like the idea of growing gourds and then drying them out to use as bird houses for the winter. I've read that sweet potatoes can be trained to grow vertically as well, so my teepees should end up being a fantastic mix of plants.

I found these two pictures on the blog Cambreed Notes, and I believe the first it is bamboo covered in pole beans. I love the purple blossoms! The other is an edible flower. Check out the link for more information.

On Super Heroes

Joe: You think I need a hug?
Paige: Yes, you've had a rough day!
Daniel: Hug me too, Daddy!
Paige: See, you are a super hero to Daniel. Daniel, is Daddy a superhero?
Daniel: Yeah!
Paige: Are we going to protect his identity?
Daniel: Daddy, you gonna be Super Grover?
Joe: Of all the super heroes, you pick Grover?
Daniel: Yeah!

Postpartum Depression Check-in

In a mere six months I’ve gone from being a self-proclaimed hermit to having a burgeoning social life, thanks to treatment for postpartum depression and this new community group through my church. In some ways, I’m not sure I recognize myself, except during the moments after an intense gathering (like last night’s Super Bowl party) where I wonder if it just might come crashing down around me.

Everything seems to be escalating right now – Matthew’s mobility, Daniel’s energy level, business during the week, my girl time, and even physical activity. Even sleep, though it is still come and go, seems to be easier to come by. Where I am struggling is in attention span – the ability to focus on work, motivation to write, keeping the house clean. I feel simultaneous urges to slow down and pick up pace. I need to relax a little more yet be more intentional with the boys.

I take that back, I relax just fine. The reason I can’t focus on tasks is because my day is split up into short hours. An hour to feed, an hour to run an errand, an hour to try and do stuff on the computer while also keeping an eye on Matthew, an hour to fuss at Daniel and get him to eat, an hour to unwind before Matthew wakes up from his nap and so on. There is no larger block of time where I can gather my senses, build up steam on work and actually get something done without having a baby yelling at me.

I was pondering last night how if I have the easiest baby in the world and managed to get postpartum depression, then any woman could fall prey to it. It’s not that unusual and it’s nothing to be embarrassed about. I was explaining to my cousin and her new husband that when your entire job as a new mom is to get your kid to eat and sleep and keep them clean, and you can’t even get them to eat or they don’t sleep well, and you yourself aren’t sleeping, it can be catastrophic to your emotional state.

As a follower of Jesus, I know where my identity lies, and it isn’t in getting my kids to eat and sleep well, but my performance at these tasks is still really important. I know that he alone sustains life and can give me the peace and rest I need, but it doesn’t change the fact that these kids can DRIVE ME NUTS. No one ever told me that my children’s faces and voices in all their daily expressions could stir up such a mix of emotions in me. I am exhausted and distracted desperate for a vacation, and each time my kids are sleeping I gaze at pictures of them on my iPhone.

But back to the social life. I’m not sure what I would do if I were not surrounded by such amazing friends. I don’t just mean the families in my community group either. There is an amazing network of family and friends and people who care, and it breaks my heart that there are so many new moms out there who go through this alone. Moms need friends who will spend time reminding them they are more than butt-wiper extraordinaire. I have that and feel incredibly blessed. It’s because of these people that I know that if it does in fact all come crashing down around me, they will be there to help be pick up the pieces.

10 Weeks of Vegetable Gardening: Week 2

Each Friday I will be posting a weekly guide for prepping your home vegetable garden. In Raleigh, the last killing frost date is April 11 (on average, give or take a week), so my first weekend for planting outdoors is April 9.

It has been a fickle weather week in Raleigh and we are supposed to have rain today and Saturday morning, so I debated switching weeks on you. However, Joe and I will be out in the dirt since we just picked up a band new tiller, so dirt is what I give to you!

This week is about soil preparation. If you didn’t kill off the weeds or add compost back in the fall, or if like us, you are digging up an entirely new garden, you have your work cut out for you. There are tons of methods to preparing the soil, and some of those resources are listed below along with places you can find supplies locally. I prefer to use Black Kow and Black Chicken Compost and apply them early enough to give the chicken compost time to cool. I also add plenty of peat moss to my raised beds. This link lays out exactly what and how much I use in my garden (I am not paid to endorse any brands, I'm just a gal with preferences): "Preparing Soil in Raised Beds".

Most store bought fertilizers add only three nutrients: N,P,K or nitrogen, phosphorous and potassium. In reality, your plants need much more than these three and need different amounts at different times during the growing cycle. The following are just several nutrients your plants need. I've included some organic and natural sources of these.

• Nitrogen - fish meal, blood meal, composted manure (only use composted manure, never fresh),shellfish fertilizer, coffee grounds (be careful about acidity)
• Phosphorus - bone meal, shellfish fertilizer
• Potassium - green sand, shellfish fertilizer, wood ash, kelp meal
• Calcium - egg shells, shellfish fertilizer, lime (not the fruit)
• Magnesium - green sand, epsom salt
• Iron - green sand
• Zinc - zinc sulfate
• Copper - copper sulfate

Of course, any plant nursery will be more than happy to direct you to the fertilizers that meet your needs if you let them know what you are growing and what your soil is deficient in. Check this Organic Fertilizer Guide for more information.

If your beds are ready the following can be planted in the ground now: asparagus, cabbage, onion sets or plants, peas, radishes, rutabagas and turnips. Personally, I am quitting peas (anyone want my seed?) and will be waiting another week or two before planting outdoors to give my soil time to rest. Besides, the weather forecast shows snow next week!

Tasks:

• Till or turn. As long as the soil is dry enough and the ground is not still frozen, turn over the soil about eight inches while raking out what weeds you are able to.
• Condition. Now is the time to add lime, peat and compost (if you didn’t in the fall) and take a soil sample to your nearest extension office to determine what other nutrients your soil is lacking. Confession: I have never taken in a sample, but I’ve heard it’s the thing to do. Start rinsing out and saving your eggshells as a great source of calcium.
• Supplement. The soil level in your beds has likely dropped since last year. Add your favorite soil mix to top off the beds.
• Mix and smooth. Once the soil has been turned, conditioned and supplemented, mix it up well and smooth over the top.
• Cover. Black tarp or plastic bags spread over the beds will help kill off the weeds and the larva of pests that may have overwintered in your garden.

Materials:

• Shovel or tiller for larger gardens, spade, rake.
• Garden gloves. Do your hands a favor!
• Vegetable planting mix, compost, peat, lime, other fertilizers and conditioners.
• Black tarp or plastic and stakes.

Links and places of interest:

Capital Mulch Company (for Raleigh and locals)
Creating the Right Soil Mix for Square Foot Gardening
Logan’s Trading Company (local resource for soil and ammendments)
Resources for Compost and Mulch by NCCES