High Five

Our fifth anniversary was a good one. On Saturday, we loaded up the Jeep and drove to Shelby to stay with Joe's parents for two nights before heading off to Brevard, NC sans baby. We watched the King's Mountain fireworks that evening and the next day lounged around, ate a delicious home cooked lunch and took a short walk before Joe's grandparents came in for a visit.



Monday we drove to Brevard and had several hours to explore before we were able to check in to the B&B. We drove around the Brevard Music Center and to the Pisgah Ranger Station, played in the river, went to Sliding Rock and hiked to Moore Falls.



After checking in and showering, we went to Dugan's for Irish nachos and drinks. Our sweet tooth(s) demanded that we stop at Food Lion for some Bachelorette snacks. After checking out, Joe pulled out two ones and bought each of us a scratch seven card. Guess who one seven dollars? Me. That was a five dollar profit for each year of marriage. That was pretty great, but the evening was topped off when Wes, the snake, finally got sent home from the Bachelorette. Joe will fuss at me for saying it, but he was quite giddy and even did a little arm pump in the air. The next day I caught him smirking and he confided that he was just thinking about how glad he was that Wes got sent home.

Wednesday we did about several miles of hiking and climbed to John Rock, saw Looking Glass Falls, Triple Falls, Hooker Falls, and Connestee Falls. Triple Falls and Hooker Falls are in DuPont State Forest. I had read several years ago about how the state of NC had used its power of eminent domain to protect the land and shut out a sale to developers, and I was pretty excited to get to visit. My legs berated me for making them do anything more that walk the aisles of our local Walmart, but they will one day thank me. When we were finished hiking, we went on a white squirrel hunt and found several frolicking and munching on peanuts at Brevard College.



Dinner at Hobnob was phenomenal. We both had dill crusted trout and Sangrias and shared a free desert - warm center chocolate cake with strawberries, whipped cream, and a scoop of vanilla icecrem. We looked like a pair of ravenous wolves hunkered down over that cake and giggled our way through each bite.

Yesterday when we picked up Daniel, he laughed so hard when he first saw us. His face got all red and he was shaking in laughter. It was a great site. On the way home, we stopped at Ikea where Daniel ate nearly an entire piece of chocolate cake himself, and then cried through the rest of the store. He was so tired from not getting a good nap in the car. We hustled around like bats who accidentally flew into the wrong cave, trying to locate a couple items we liked and trying to ward off the intense desire to buy things we didn't need, and made it back to the car fairly unscathed but with a little boy who was done.

Being back home is good. The three of us dallied around Ace Hardware and Logan's over at Seaboard before Daniels nap and some time gardening. This afternoon I have my two week post-op doctor visit and hopefully will get some answers about this last miscarriage, but most likely will just be given the how-to-precede-from-here talk.

Hello, hello, hello.....

On top of John Rock with a view of Looking Glass Rock.

In Brevard

We just left the wee one with grandma Dee Dee and have arrived in Brevard. This is where we will be staying!

In the Great Green Room

In the great green room was a telephone and a RED BALLOON...



This little boy is such a blessing in my life, and I know that having a miscarriage would have been a completely different experience not having him keep me on my toes. Today we went to the library for story time and then to Krispy Kreme for doughnuts. It was like getting to take Daniel out on a date. I loved how he was completely silent as he shoved the doughnut in his mouth and then was covered with so much flaky sugar that I had to take him outside to brush him off.

The library was teaming with impregnated women and strollers with chubby sleeping babies and kids all spaced a perfect two years apart. While it would be so easy to resent other women and families simply because they remind me of my loss, I can't live there. I feel like God has so richly blessed my life and he has given Joe and I exactly what we need. It is impossible to look at a woman and know the pain and long suffering she has endured to have the child or pregnancy she does. Many of my friends have experienced miscarriage, infertility, having to wait for the right timing or finances, the loss of a child, etc.

Joe and I were talking about how living in close community with friends can be a double edged sword at times. Community provides an amazing source of support. They mourn with you and celebrate with you and lift you up in prayer. The downside is that it can also be a source of pressure to conform to a timing and plan than may not coincide with God's timing and plan for your life. I feel a twinge of desperation to play catch up and make sure that second child comes along soon and that I am not left with only one kid before friends get started on round three. How childish and selfish it that? It just blows me away. I also am terrified of having another miscarriage, so that leaves me wishing I could not think about it at all.

As far as moving on and dealing with grief, I feel that whatever loss I have felt has been answered by gain in Christ. Whether it's through notes from family and friends saying they have been praying or through spending time in scripture, I feel strengthened and encouraged. Don't get me wrong... it still feels wrong not being pregnant anymore and I still think about it all the time. I imagine that won't change anytime soon.

Garden Tomato Sauce

In the pot from the garden: Golden sunburst tomatoes, Djena Lee's golden girl tomatoes, Black Russian tomato, Omar's Lebanese tomato, Ace Bush tomato, garlic, carrots, banana peppers (sweet and hot), yellow onion, basil, thyme and oregano. From the counter: olive oil, red wine, and a pinch of sugar and salt.